Let's Talk about Masculunity

Let's Talk about Masculunity

Monday, 3 September 2018

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Gender norms suck for EVERYBODY. 

As someone who identifies as female I can attest pretty well to the negative effects gender norms have on women. I mean I've lived it after all. But to talk about the impact they have had on men, well that's a bit outside my realm of experience. So today I decided to sit down with ~a real human boy~ and ask some questions about gender, masculinity, and the impact of cultural norms on identity. The result, I think, is pretty interesting. 

Below is a series of questions I asked and the responses I got. Overall, it was an interesting interview and it's pretty clear that gender norms affect us all. It's time we start advocating for boys to be feminine (along with girls being masculine) and dispel with these hegemonic gendered narratives!!!! These answers are fraught, and they are real. I don't always agree with the thinking behind them, but that's the point of having these discussion. Anyways, I'm really interested to know how you feel about some of these questions, wether you are male or female (and there is no right answer!). 

Q:  How do you define gender ?

A: That’s a really difficult question. Gender isn't something you are born with, I feel like it is something each individual person learns throughout there life and reflects. 

Q: How do you define masculinity ?

A: Muscle. hahaha. Um, but yah physical and mental strength, I guess? That's also difficult. I don't think about this a lot.  

Q: Is feeling masculine key to your identity ?

A: Yes and no.

Q: Is it important to you that others view you as masculine ?

A: Yes, really important.

Q: Do you think you conform to gender roles on a daily basis ?

A: Yes and no. It depends where I am, when I go out at night or am with my friends I act more manly 

but when I’m alone on the train I'm not trying to act male or female I'm just existing and being human.

Q: Have you ever been discouraged from buying something because it said  “for women” ?

A: Haha you know that I buy women’s jeans and I don’t care also my toner is technically "for women". But I don't really care about the marketing I care about the product. 

Q: Who was your primary care giver growing up ?

A: My Dad. 

Q: Do you think society puts pressure on men in an unhealthy way ?

A: 100% they expect men to be strong and expect men to sacrifice themselves through work. like you have to work, you can't stay home it's just what is expected. I mean society is changing a bit with paternity leave and stuff but um, at this moment there is still pressure.

Q:What are some things you worry about on a daily basis? 

A: Um I care a lot about my style and hair line, also if I have muscles.

Q: Has a male ever cried infront of you for personal reasons?

A: No- oh wait-Yes. 

Q: Have you ever cried in front of a male friend (for personal reasons)?

A: Yes –HelloOOOO I'm a human being.

Q: Do you feel comfortable talking to your male friends about your emotions, fears, and struggles ?

A: Yah 100% , I tell them how I fear you all the time. (Me: rolling my eyes)

Q:Do you think crying makes you weak ?

A: Sometimes it's ok, it depends I guess. 

Q: Are there any advantages to being a man ?

A: I'm physically stronger so I don't have to worry about the threats as much  And I don't really worry about how getting pregnant would affect my career, but actually I don't think there are that many advantages.

Q: Are there any disadvantages ? 

A: You loose hair. lol, but um,too many things. There is the pressure to be strong. And in cases of divorce it is a lot harder for father to gain custody. But I'm actually really happy to be a man. 

Q: Are there disadvantages to being female ?

A: Yes and they are way worse. 

Q: Has the #metoo movement had any impact on your behaviour ?

A: No the movement hasn't been very strong in Japan. 

Q: Is it important for you to pay on the first date – why? 

A: Yes I care a lot because girls are expecting it and it’s kinda embarrassing for guys if you don't. Also I don’t want to seem like a bad guy. I just feel like it is something I should do.

Q: Do you feel like you need to fulfill a certain role in a romantic relationship (provider/ protector) ?

A: Not a fixed role. It depends on the relationship like if she has a really strong personality then my role changes and I can adapt. 

Q: How did you learn about consent ?

A:I learned about it informally, like not really at school or directly from my parents but it was always obvious.

Q: How do you gauge consent in a relationship ?

A: Every situation is different. 

Q: Do you think men and women are treated equally ?

A: Obviously no, but I’m not saying men are always treated better, just that they are treated different. It depends on the context. In a lot of cases men are even treated worse. 

Q: Do you think there is too little focus on the pressures guys face ?

A: Yes 100%. 

Q: Do you think feminism does anything for you as a male ?

A: yes and no. You're really feminist and when I'm with you I don't feel that societal pressure. Like I don’t need to worry about my hair or clothes or acting macho. I can just kinda ignore that. But um I think from like society I don't feel like feminism is doing anything to help with these pressures. Feminism is really new in Japan and so far it just feels like it's about women. 

. 

Working Women in Japan

Working Women in Japan

Sunday, 25 March 2018

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Japan ranks 101^st on the World Economic Forums Gender Equality Index, it has one of the lowest rankings in the developed world.  It’s fair to assume then that working in a Japanese company would mirror this statistic, or at least serve to illuminate why the inequality exists in the first place.  What I learned was much more complex than I anticipated. I’m incredibly fortunate to have interned at a place that clearly valued women’s participation and their issues, but that’s not to say that concerns don’t exist and that we shouldn’t attempt to address them. In this post I wanted to explore some of the themes that emerged when I was able to interview various different women working at the company in different positions and age brackets. 

Things Are Changing:

There was a time (really not that long ago) when even the idea of having a family and working was impossible. One female employee felt that promotions were unattainable unless you were willing to sacrifice your family life.  As a female Senior Executive bluntly pointed out, when she was young very few women worked in the company and they most certainly didn’t keep working after marriage. To an extent this culture still exists in practice, I mean there is only 1 female executive with a child, and although the trend of women returning to work after starting a family is changing it is still in its infancy. What’s different today however is the open-mindedness of management to these concerns. Every one of the women I interviewed brought up concerns about balancing private life and work and feeling like they had to choose between the two. While this notion is heavily internalized by female employees, it doesn’t represent the reality they face. Two women noted that after speaking to their managers about their concerns they were surprised at how accommodating their seniors were. The attitude of management isn’t the same as it was 20years ago, and they are supporting women in pursuing all their goals (personal and professional). This goes for male and female executives alike. The senior female executive noted that her position provided her with the unique (and important position) to advocate for the maternity needs of women amongst her male colleagues. But this push isn’t just happening from women. Male managers are being more active and asking their female employees about their personal goals in order to help facilitate a system that works for everyone. 

Work / Life balance isn’t just about women though, and a lot of the time that seems to be the focus. In Japanese society domestic duties are still highly feminized, which means it can often be seen as the women’s responsibility to run the household, and there for men don’t require the same accommodations. In reality, promoting a balance has to include both genders partaking in household management. In the workplace that means accommodating flexible schedules for all employees; not just women. The senior executive (who attributes a lot of the ease in her role to her husband’s support for her work) noted that the young married man who returns home early is an example for his peers and is improving everyone’s understanding in the role men and women need to play to achieve this balance. 

Not everything’s perfect:

As one would expect there are still many concerns surrounding women in the work force. While Prime Minister Shinzo Abe’s hallmark “Womenomics” policy has increased the visibility of women in the workforce it hasn’t addressed a lot of the issues that women in most companies still face. Because there’s a lot of concerns and because I was fortunate enough to intern at a company that is incredibly progressive (and therefor I don’t have firsthand knowledge about many of the issues) I want to focus on just two main themes. 

Nomikai Culture:

The first of which is Nomikai Culture. Those who aren’t familiar with Japan may not be versed on what the Nomikai is, or how it can present a uniquely Japanese challenge for working women. So a brief intro before I continue. Nomikai’s are Japanese drinking parties that are embedded into work place culture. They occupy a weird space between the formal and informal and are slightly akin to a drinking meeting. So while most women agree that mistreatment at the office is rare and unspeakable, there seems to be more ambiguity around what is acceptable treatment of women at a Nomikai. In these situations the treatment of women can seem demeaning. Especially since entertaining is a large part of the female employee’s role at a Nomikai. The younger female employees I interviewed spoke about the necessity to look and act cute while also managing the table (serving drinks, handing out cutlery, etc.). The older Executive also agreed that women had a specific entertaining purpose at Nomikai’s, particularly when she was young. Back then the youngest female employee would sit next to the most superior male and be responsible for entertaining him. Because Nomikai’s are always exclusive to your team, and can include clients and other project members there is also a clash in the progressiveness of those individuals within the company and those outside it. One female employ pointed to a case where harassment from a client at a Nomikai motivated her to remover herself from a project. The blurred line between formal and informal at Nomikai’s seem to make all of this behaviour slightly more tolerable than would even be thinkable in the office setting. From the little time I have spent in a Japanese company and the limited interviews I did, Nomikai’s are one of the most fascinating and troubling aspects to me. 

Lack of Confidence: 

Not every aspect of women’s inequality is a result of active male oppression, and that’s evidenced by one of the most pressing issues I noticed for Japanese working women. A lot of what is holding women back is internalized. If we return briefly to the question of work/life balance a major theme among the female employees I spoke to was their own belief that both things were not simultaneously achievable. It wasn’t until discussing their concerns with superiors that they were aware of the support they could receive.  The result of these discussions was often a surprise to the female employees, who if not pushed would likely have been too shy to assert their goals for balance between both. If you lack the confidence to say what you are aiming for the proper support cannot be cultivated. 

 When I asked the female senior executive what she thought the biggest change in corporate culture is that facilitated increased participation of women she responded (quite surprisingly) that the change did come as much from the company as it came from herself. She noted that as she aged her confidence and self-esteem increased, meaning she was no longer embarrassed to ask for what she desired or pursue any goals she had set. If I compare this lack of confidence into the young women in the West I think it’s quite a different scenario. Yes the question of work / life balance still exists but the confidence to voice those concerns isn’t as marginalized as it is in Japan. 

The Future:

I am a bit surprised and extremely grateful of the incredible strides that this company has made to improve women’s experience in the workplace. I think discussions, not just among the women of the company but among all branches of employees will help to drive progress forward, and in a company where management is so open minded I don’t think that such discussions are a stretch or overly idealistic. That being said there is a lot of room for improvement and there needs to be discussions around topics like childcare, equality of pay, and so much more that I was unable to cover. But the future for Japanese working women is one that I (as a potential future working women in Japan ;) ) am incredibly invested in. I’ll end this post with the advice that a senior female executive gave. Her words ring true for young male and female employees alike, and they are not particularly restricted to a Japanese context. In essence her words were “be ambitious and be clear about your ambitious”. If you have goals, personal and professional, and you can articulate them both your superiors will be invested in helping you achieve them.


Till next time,

F.